Twenty Five for Twenty Six

Today was another kickboxing day. I struggled with a lot of the workout, both with stamina as well as comprehension. I know that takes practice, I had just hoped I’d be better at it I guess? I have one more free class and then I’m unsure from there.  I get to apply some of my anger towards people in my life in the class though. It helped increase my pace during the speed rounds but then I lost form. It’s all a big balance. 

I’m writing this from the beyond. I have crossed over into sleep already and may never return...

If you don't know who Joanna is, please see above. She's a Goanna (reptilian creature who crawls on all fours and eat eggs and things) who is a minor character in "The Rescuers Down Under."  The reason she is featured in today's post is because the theme song for that Disney movie has been playing all day at work as part of the fountain show. I heard it mid afternoon and immediately recognized it. I even said to myself "Well now I have to watch The Rescuers Down Under." And here I am doing just that as we wind down for the night.  Water intake was good today and food was decent. So far breakfast has been the low calorie density meal and based on the scale, I have lost three more pounds. But we shall see. Tomorrow is supposed to be a WellDressedWednesday.

Today Peter and I visited his parents and watched Last Jedi to celebrate Star Wars Day. I fell asleep because I am a tired panda. However, below is my favorite seen:                     “Reach out with your feelings”

I made it back to my 7lb down mark which is exciting. Which then stressed me out because I’m about to start taking some medication that could reverse all of my hard work. Had a mini panic attack about that earlier. I did pretty good with food today other than my Reese’s Snack Mix. Met my step goal, listen to a book, worked on some MOH responsibility stuff for Catherine’s wedding.  And now I have a big goal for tomorrow.  This is a lofty goal considering my counseling job is all computers all day. But I will try!! Who else wants to? 

And boyfriend wakes you up to talk you about pink polygons and greasy nose Eddy... (this was all just because he wanted to spend time with me but Jesus). I read more of my books, went to work, impressed some of the clients’ families, the three meals, had pie, organized some work stuff, did a chore, drank water, and now all I want to do is go to bed!  And boyfriend is narrating now about some cats talk show about space.  oh! I went to the doctor again, lab results will be next week. I think I lost a pound too! Goodnight. 

I am so tired I feel floaty.  I tried to write this post once already and the app gave up and said no. Soo... I was at work for roughly 12 hours today and I’m so tired I want to die. I drank water and walked a ton. And then it rained.  Also, spoke with some attendees to Catherine’s Bachelorette. I’m excited for it! 

Today was so tiring. I worked from 10:30am-9:30pm. My legs and feet and back are killing me and all I want to do is curl up in bed and cry myself to sleep.  But I remembered I made a commitment (for the billionth time) to do this. I shouldn’t be missing posts. I need to establish consistency. Same story, different day. But it made me post today! So that’s a tiny win.  I have not been eating well and I’ve been spending too much money. I feel like I’m tail spinning and I’m not sure how to make it stop.  I talked to Catherine today about some stuff and we are still working out kinks in some of her planning but soon we will have finalized, awesome events on the horizon ^_^ 

I’ll explain all of it better tomorrow when I’m fully conscious

So I had every intention of completing this on time but I kind of passed out. We both did actually with all the lights on, me still in my gym clothes. Today was a big cheat day. I had McDonalds for the first time in a while (pretty sure it made me sick tbh) and then a cupcake and half a donut and popcorn and a protein bar. It was a mess. I did look into a possible apartment upgrade which could be nice but it will all depend on the budget. The gym session I went to nearly killed. I thought my ear was going to start bleeding it was so cold outside. But I completed it. And then watched "47 Meters Down."  I also looked into a nutritional program that I'm not quite sure I can afford right now but that could be interesting later on. We shall see. I am definitely paying for the cheat day. I feel sluggish and awful. No more of that madness for a while hopefully.

I wore makeup and dressed up today in order to get back into Well Dressed Wednesday. Clients gave me compliments which was nice of them, I hid my dissatisfaction about my hair, and in general I felt better than past days. But the busy-ness is creeping up which brings the tiredness and sadness. I worried about how I'm going to handle everything once all the jobs are up and running. But at least for today, despite it being so busy and hardly getting any paperwork done, I felt pretty.

I set up my laptop to write this post and suddenly I was overwhelmed by tiredness. And boyfriend trying to snuggle me because I got my haircut and I'm not totally feeling it? I originally went to get it cut because it was really scraggly and rough and generally making feel like depression is setting in. Not that I even feel depressed!! So I decided to get it cut and I liked it when I left the hair place. But then I got home and started doing wind down things and suddenly "Nope. Don't like it." What was an act of self care has not triggered this lovely progression of "here are all the things that are wrong..." which is not what I intended. Boyfriend is trying to help but I'm all in my head and too focused on being fat, tired, and now looking like Dora the Explorer. This is where being nice to myself has to come in. I am making moves to change the things I don't think are healthy for me and that I what I choose to focus on in this moment.  I'm t...

So aside from feeling like a trash can and my hair and face looking like a hot mess, Boss Lady Monday is upon us! I put on the fancier clothes today and decided to rock some high heels. Yes, yes, yes part of the goal was to do the face and hair all fancy as well. But I'm lucky I even got my teeth brushed today due to being in a rush and being exhausted. Is that an excuse?... Maybe. But oh well. Today starts the recovery process from Thanksgiving's craziness (which if you haven't read already due to my inconsistent posting over the holiday and you want to update yourself, here you go: Thursday, Friday , Saturday,   Sunday ). Going back to the gym starts today, watching food intake starts again today, chiropractor, chores, all of it. And hopefully posting with more consistency. I know my story doesn't really matter to anyone but me but posting helps me hold myself accountable so I need to do it. I have to. But one of my flaws with every goal is the fact that I'm...

It was bound to happen. Missing a post was inevitable. I got sooo tired I just passed out before I could write anything down anywhere. Obviously I needed it because I stayed asleep!  It isn't the end of the world. You just keep going. End of story.  Today was a boring but productive day. Lots of therapy was completed today as well as another chiropractor appointment. The injury isn't going away so I decided to seek some sort of medical attention. So far it's nice, a good little break. Tomorrow is a wedding and then Friday is most likely a dress up day!