Twenty Five for Twenty Six

I had so many things written down when I scribbled them all on receipt tape from work. Most of them ended up making the final posting of goals but a few were changed. I wanted to dye my hair, get my nails done, figure out birthday shenanigans ect. Some of that isn't realistic at the moment so I will go with something I kind of already did on here but the more expanded version of it. I want better skin. I want to fix my complexion, figure out my skin type. I want to not look like a teenager. Goal Twenty Five- get an assessment from somewhere for suggestions about my skin. 

Approaching 26 has me thinking a ton about stereotypes of early-mid twenties. I keep thinking to myself (in the car, in the shower, at work while people are talking to me) "shouldn't I be having more fun? Shouldn't I be hanging out with my friends and doing fun things?" Don't get my wrong, I do see my friends and do fun things. I just work so much that I can't seem to find the time to see them as often as I would like. I want to go dancing more often, I want to be able to go to theme parks with so many people, I want to be able to go do touristy things with my friends because we are goofy. There are many things that get in the way of me doing all of these things but maybe, just maybe, if I make it a goal. I can sit there and figure out a way to see my friends more often.  Goal Twenty Four- go out with my friends. 

FALL IS ALMOST HERE!!! SPOOKY TIME IS ALMOST HERE!!  AHHHHHHH Okay I'm fine it is fine. But yes, the bewitching season is almost upon us and I am stoked. Costumes and monsters, parties and Horror Nights, scary movies and pumpkin everything! I can't wait, I love fall!! This year I want to wear a costume that is a little more daring than things of the past (I love princess and fairies and sparkles, not a secret). And I want to take a page out of Catherine's book and do a Riverdale character because Riverdale is life.  Goal Twenty Three- Find materials and create a Dark Betty Halloween Costume. 

Fashion isn't something I pride myself on or claim to know anything about. I would much rather feel comfortable in clothing and accessories rather than look fabulous. My clothing selection is eclectic at best and I some of it is just old. Goal Twenty Two involves getting five new pieces by my birthday. And guess what? I only need four more!! 

Research is probably my least favorite thing in the world to do. I can write a research paper and make all the dots connect but I hate looking through articles and find the source material. It's frustrating.  That being said, recently an idea popped into my head about presenting at a counseling conference. I haven't been the greatest idea creator for things like that but since I work in residential I wondered "Could I educate about developing boundaries on residential units?" Maybe I can and maybe I can't, the goal isn't necessarily to present at the actual conference but rather (Goal Twenty One) develop a proposal for a conference on boundaries in residential. 

Counseling isn't an easy profession by any means. We have to do a lot of self care to stay balanced and avoid burnout and becoming jaded by our clients. Sometimes that means seeking a helper for ourselves. Recently, my life feels like it has been all over the place which is stressful . I'm usually pretty good about balancing all of the pieces and parts. But it's taking a toll and starting to catch up to me. Goal Twenty, start counseling sessions by your birthday. 

Catherine and I have been talking about doing sooooo mmaannnyyy things since before she got married. Sometimes we achieve them, sometimes we don't. But one that I want to help her achieve is working on her podcast. It would cover a variety of topics of course. Her and I have spoken about doing one together and I am super excited to work that out before my birthday!! Goal Nineteen- Podcast with Catherine. 

I downloaded an app called digit and it helps you save money by doing... Something. I can't remember exactly but I need the help so I have it now. I want to save at minimum $250 dollars by my birthday. This should be easy enough to do and if I exceed that amount, awesome! Had I started this earlier in the year, I would have more. But better late than never... 

It isn't a secret that I happen to own quite a bit of makeup.  Maybe not as much as some other people in the world (Brianna, beauty bloggers, my photography friends) but quite a bit for just one person who doesn't wear it everyday. And some of it is starting to expire which is bad for my skin. I have wanted to get some new pieces for a while and that is what Goal Seventeen is going to focus on.  I have started this process alread. I picked up two new foundations, a concealer, highlighter, and new sponges!! So far, I love the NYX "Can't Stop, Won't Stop" foundation and the Elf highlighter. I have always been really afraid to use highlighter but I really like the effect this one has and I am excited to keep going. I want to get at least three more pieces by my birthday. 

I fell in love with Glee when it originally debuted all those years ago after an American Idol Finale. An so I restarted the series this week. Today, I got to watch three episodes of it while babysitting because the two year old passed out for his nap and I had nothing better to do.  Self care is Glee.

It has been a week and it is only Wednesday... Everything feels like it is falling apart. I consistently am behind on all of my things and I just don’t know how to catch up. My Disney password is broke and IT can’t seem to fix it. And I’m struggling to keep my head above water this week in the money department. I feel like I’m drowning. *insert Rose Dewipucater’s speech about screaming st the top of her lungs and no one even looks up here*

One of my original goals to myself was to start sharing some of my knowledge from my profession in one post a week called the Mental Health Minute or MHM. The titles might read something like "Mental Health Minute: Square Breathing" or "MHM: Stress" and would be quick posts about little things.  I kind of did this earlier this week when I talked about Johari window and I want to continue to devote some time to that each week. Let me know if there are any topics in particular ^_^ 

A while ago, I told some people I would sign up for kickboxing lessons. And I did. I just have yet to go to the class. So that is goal thirteen, use my groupon that I purchased for five kickboxing classes. Follow through with what I say.

I have had a prompt in my head for awhile now and I want to start that project. It centers around magical street names (follow me here) and how it all leads up to this one street where... Stuff happens. It would be a short story most likely but I used to love writing. Even if it was terrible and entirely too dramatic and rediculous. I loved it. Just like I love reading. Goal Sixteen, start writing the story before your birthday. 

So there's this painting that I have been trying to finish for like two years. It is a Tinker Bell silhouette with pixie dust cascading down the canvas. The idea was to put "To live would be an awfully big adventure" and then to hang that at work. I have perfection issues with paintings so I have been letting it collect dust forever. Goal fifteen- finish the Tinker Bell painting. 

It is crazy to me that we are almost to November. Where did my year go? How has it been this long already? I know I haven't been as consistent as I had hoped to be with the project, these last few months especially. Upon reflection, (read: thinking to myself as I enter a fugue state flying down I4) I think part of the reason I am struggling so much with this project and in general is due to my lack of identity.  I know I show my self to be all these things but in reality, I still struggle to figure out who I am. I always have. Some of you may know me to be this bubbly, bright, positive, peppy, bouncy person and that is true... but there are so many other sides. I can be mean, very very mean, and strict, bossy, controlling, miserable, hateful. When that happens, people who know me as the former kind of freeze. They ask whats wrong and act cautiously. They don't know what to do with the new form that is in front of them. And then there's this other part that is pityin...

This is place holder because I can’t actually type anything meaningful at the moment but I will.  **UPDATE**  Panic was on the first. Fab, fun, fantastic, (F**k A) Silver Lining, all that Jazz.  Then on 8/2, the girls and I went to the mall, ate bad food, I went to supervision, and made a really stressful decision that I feel I shouldn’t have had to make but here we are. I felt fine until I got home. And then suddenly too tired to function. I am Behind on checking in with Catherine, upset with myself for going back over the 160 mark weight wise. Just not where I want to be in most of my goals. It sucks but that just means it is time to get back into gear.