Twenty Five for Twenty Six

Self esteem is a tricky concept. Does it come from within or is it jump started by others? How do we know when we have self esteem and its level within us?  I tell my clients to focus on creating their self esteem for themselves. Do something you enjoy, complete a task that needs to get done or is something you are good at, positive affirmations, mantra, repetition may be key in there things. Some times it means getting better sleep, eating better food, or drinking more water to initiate chemical changes that contribute to self esteem. Some times it is a haircut, makeup look, clothing choice, or talent that we want to show off because flaunting it allows us to feel accomplished and confident.  Find what ever it is that helps you feel confident in your skin, happy, bright, beautiful, worthy, ect and try to implement that thing/act in to your life more often. You may find that how you feel about yourself changes, even when that thing isn't present. 

Counseling isn't an easy profession by any means. We have to do a lot of self care to stay balanced and avoid burnout and becoming jaded by our clients. Sometimes that means seeking a helper for ourselves. Recently, my life feels like it has been all over the place which is stressful . I'm usually pretty good about balancing all of the pieces and parts. But it's taking a toll and starting to catch up to me. Goal Twenty, start counseling sessions by your birthday. 

I fell in love with Glee when it originally debuted all those years ago after an American Idol Finale. An so I restarted the series this week. Today, I got to watch three episodes of it while babysitting because the two year old passed out for his nap and I had nothing better to do.  Self care is Glee.

New goal alert!!  Today Catherine and I worked on some of her wedding stuff. We looked st accessories for the big day, found some fun things, and practiced her makeup look. We also finalized some shower details which is very exciting!!  In the midst of me practicing applying her makeup, I recommended to her to make sure her face regimen was consistent for at least the full month prior to the big day. I have been thinking about this for myself as well! My skin is kind of bleh and I don’t even know why really. So goal nine is to make sure I’m cleansing my face everyday between now and the wedding in hopes to see some changes!! 

So everyday I make an entry, I do my tags first. Today has so many tags! I did a a lot today to warrant that. I went to a tea room that originally was schedule led for Catherine and I but scheduling ended up not allowing her to come up during the week so I had to go by myself. I decided to dress cute and rock some cowboy boots. The tea was yummy and relaxing. I went to the library on the way and got a book to read while I was there. Then transitioned to a doctors appointment because being healthy is important. Followed by laundry, bank errand, making a counseling appointment to deal with the stress in my life, being supportive for Peter, going to dinner with Anella, and now I’m puppy sitting!  So busy!!  But not in that draining way. It was good to have fun, self focused things happening. I love having time for myself :) 

Today was a bundle of fun!! It ended up be no an inadvertent Boss Lady Monday which was nice (despite my nose looking like it was dragged across cement). I finished all of my work for the day, got done it on time, the real boss lady brought us doughnuts. And then I got to help boyfriend through a small crisis that he was very scared about but ended up be nothing. Took Anella and Matt to EPCOT because why not and to get some gifts.  Also, a client gave me a gift today because he appreciated me which is always fun.  It was a good day.  The only down side was leaving my iPad at work but luckily my friends grabbed it for me and Anella even check on my Sims because there is a wedding event right now and I will just be devastated if I miss it.  Yay! 

I set up my laptop to write this post and suddenly I was overwhelmed by tiredness. And boyfriend trying to snuggle me because I got my haircut and I'm not totally feeling it? I originally went to get it cut because it was really scraggly and rough and generally making feel like depression is setting in. Not that I even feel depressed!! So I decided to get it cut and I liked it when I left the hair place. But then I got home and started doing wind down things and suddenly "Nope. Don't like it." What was an act of self care has not triggered this lovely progression of "here are all the things that are wrong..." which is not what I intended. Boyfriend is trying to help but I'm all in my head and too focused on being fat, tired, and now looking like Dora the Explorer. This is where being nice to myself has to come in. I am making moves to change the things I don't think are healthy for me and that I what I choose to focus on in this moment.  I'm t...

Having time off from Disney helps sooooooooo much. Really. I feel pretty good despite still being busy. Little reprieves are nice. As far as today goes though... I really didn't do anything related to goals today other than laundry. But I did get to support the boyfriend through an interview that would really change the game for him and us and life. So fingers crossed on that. I helped him tie the tie he ended up not needing and reminded him to breathe. I fought off some ants that have decided to attack out shower and then switched out the laundry. And now I am at the end of an eight hour shift at my therapy job where I got some time to draw. Its a self care activity I don't do a whole lot because it makes me mad. But now Anella has a lovely Little Mermaid cartoon that is kind of terrible to look at on Monday.

It has been a rough two weeks, not gonna lie, but I'm alive. I had to take a break and I'm honestly not sure if that break is done? Today was hard. * HARD*  But I told myself "Blog. Get back into it or you won't at all." I wish I could sum up all of the time I have missed in December but I just can't. Nothing detrimental happened but so many little things going wrong plus work stress plus social stress plus working on goals. It just got to be too much. I will continue to struggle with things for a while is my guess and going into a New Year that is a little disheartening. It is tough to have all of this momentum and then watch it all just leave, mass exodus style. But I am working on it. And that's all I can ask for myself right now. I'm doing enough. I believe in my abilities. And me saying all of this is an act of self compassion which is today's mental health tip and is defined below along with the best website should you wish to kno...

It's car wash day!! One of my other goals was to get my car washed once a month and clean it out weekly. Like everything else, I've been struggling with this but today I decided to use it as a self care activity and get one of the "fancier" car washes. I got the tricolored soap and the shine stuff Etc. It's a 7 minute break where I get to feel like a kid again and get all excited!  Anyway, goal six is adding one chore to my schedule at least three times a week. This allows For some crossover between goals which helps me complete all of them. Ideally, it will graduate to a chore everyday for multiple reason. One of them is I've never been able to do that, it is scientifically proven to reduce your stress level, and another being that will help me keep my apartment cleaner. I have all year to get to that point so for now let's shoot for three chores a week.  What counts as a chore you ask? Cleaning the car, cat box, dishes, or floor; doing lau...

It's crazy to think that I don't get days off regularly but it is true. When you work three jobs days off are few and far between. But today was one of them! I got to help someone make a magical moment for their mother by helping them get into Animal Kingdom, got to walk around the world of Pandora, purchased and put up Christmas decorations, took a nap, watched once upon a time, went to the gym, and cleaned the house with the boo thang! So many things that needed to get done didn't get done but I still had a ton of productivity with self care worked in! Go me! Tomorrow I start the next festival at Disnry and then puppy sitting for nearly a week but the pups are so nice and there's a kitty I get to meet! So excited! 

The injury I inflicted upon myself whilst working out on Wednesday is a really pain in the butt. And lower, left back. It prevented me from being able to work out an generally move around today (I went to the gym and did 40 minutes of stretching though!). Waking was hard. Standing up was hard. Running is not something I could and neither are stairs. I spent all day with a heating pad behind me which was helping until I did some stretches and used a lacrosse ball.   The pain is back with a vengeance and I'm honestly not sure what to do about it. I work my other job tomorrow which a ton of standing so in theory I'll be alright but this is definitely not good.  I forgot to include in yesterday's post. I did my first checkin with Catherine while wandering around Epcot with Brett. We got some goals each to work on. And I think all things are doable in time and with supports.

Today I was able to do some self care activities courtesy of my friends! I was able to finally get my nails done and while one hand is completely messed up (like whoa) it was fun. I love getting my nails done and feeling pampered for a little bit. It's great. I also got to hangout with Brett and finally experience the Food and Wine festival (at a discount because cast, what up) in it's entirety. Brett wanted to celebrate my birthday so I decide on the festival. We ventured to a few of the stands and I tried a couple sips of some drinks (yuck), went on Soarin, and visited Baymax. It was a fun break, hopefully I can schedule more later on! 

Today was actually quite an adventure. It was alway the debut of goal number three!! So far the goals seem silly and that is okay with me. Goal number three is dress up for fun at least once a week. Meaning do makeup, wear something I love, feel beautiful for me and me only because that is part of self care. I shall document this via BossLadyMonday, WellDressedWednessay, Or FashionistaFriday. They are just silly little things I developed a few weeks ago but they have been helping me stay confident. I attached today's look below! I also went to the gym today and made some concrete goals with my trainer! And then I hurt myself by standing up. So now I sit on the couch with a heating pad. Woohoo.