Help Myself

Today has had she ups and some downs. It was a little better of a day of goals but stress kind of stole the show. I scrubbed my tub because chores are slowly making their way back into my everyday life and because a small accomplishment like a chore is something good to do when you start finding yourself battling feelings of depression.

Being in the mental health feild is everything I dreamed it would be and I've had this notion that I would be exempt from losing hope, impacting my personal life, and suffering from burnout because I'm an annoyingly peppy person. Obviously I was wrong but today I really started to feel some of that overlap. In school, a professor told us to fill your own cup before filling the cup of others. I haven't been too good at that recently. I keep adding stuff to my plate with already no real down time for me. That's part of the reason I want to keep to a schedule and achieve these goals. To give back to myself, to fill up that cup.

The person I love is struggling with something and I handled it appropriately but found myself quickly running out of that compassion that I used to have so much of. I caught myself sliding into feeling of resentment, anger, sadness, hopelessness, ect and backsliding into my own depression that I worked so hard to overcome. I did that today by cleaning the tub, trying to come up with a plan to help that person, and slow dancing to a love song because we can. They are little things but every little thing helps. I just have to make sure to help myself.