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I had a post

I wrote the first half of a post for today and it was a giant apology. To myself, to others, in general.  I haven’t been able to keep up with the things I set for myself and now new stressors are entering my life. 

I wanted to find a picture of the Titanic quote that Rose says about screaming in a crowded room and no one looking up it the internet hates me. But that’s how I feel. It’s my own fault though, I’m too stubborn to be 100 percent with everyone even though I want to be. 

I want to be better. I want to be the person I portray but  I’m good at masks. I’m good at illusion. It’s what I was taught by many different life experiences. 

I’m an odd person, I’m aware of this fact. I took pride in being odd and not having many friends or being popular. I managed and was happy and grateful with how things worked out. More recently, I feel alone and stuck and unsure or myself and it’s terrifying. 
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